Here's a quick post on a topic I've had in mind since Peace Corps. So without further ado, I give you...
How to pick the perfect bus seat.
(All photos are from google images because trying to take pictures of this in real life would be enough stress to cause a heart attack.)
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| If you see a crowd of people trying to swarm a bus as it pulls up, stay away. Just stay away. Nice Javanese people turn into rude monsters who will step on your feet, shove you, and sometimes whack you in the head (by accident) (if they are tall enough). |
Now, one must realize that the process begins before you even get on the bus! You arrive at the crowded terminal where bus men are running at you, eager to swoop you on to their bus. You calmly ignore said men and shoot angry glances at them if they try to touch your arm. (That really only happened once or twice about two years ago, but I still remember being justifiably angry about it. Why do you need to touch my arm to ask me where I am going!?)
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| The worst part of the terminal is up ahead... |
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| Don't touch me! |
You look for a bus that looks rather full so that it will leave soon, but not so full that you will not get your desired seat.
You may also judge from the outside whether or not this bus will have AC by glancing at the windows.
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| The line of buses |
Bus quality can also be determined from how nasty and dirty the bus looks from the outside. In this case, you can judge a book by its cover.
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| One of my favorite buses to take because it's newer and potentially cleaner |
If you safely make it through the swarms of bus men, you heave yourself up the tall bus stairs and, this is key, do not make eye contact with anyone. Why, you ask? Mostly it's just for your own sanity. You do not want to register the fact that a million eyes have all just started staring at you, as if to say, "Are you lost? Why are you on this bus?"
If you are me, you then begin to seek the perfect seat in the front of the bus (the back is too bouncy and can lead to public puking, of which I have never been victim, though I have come awfully close on multiple occasions).
Criteria:
- Near the front
- Preferably near a woman
- Bonus if the woman is skinny, because I'll have more hip room in the row
- Pick the side with three seats instead of two, because if you are a normal-sized American, you basically take up a seat and a half. This way, if you and one other person are already in the row, chances decrease that someone else will try to shove themselves in the middle seat.
- The seat should not be near an eagerly smiling person, because the chances that he/she wants to chat with you the whole way home increase
- Avoid sitting under speakers, as dangdut music could blast out of them at any moment.
- Try to sit under the AC. I've only been cold on a bus once or twice, and I've ridden... probably more than 50 buses in 3 years.
- If possible, sit in the row behind the driver because you will have the most legroom.
- If the row behind the driver has a little barrier behind it, do not sit there because you will have no leg room.
That's my advice for picking a bus seat...good luck!
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| What no bus in Indonesia has ever looked like on the inside. |
